I receive a lot of questions regarding let go and let God when it comes to relationships.  These are questions pertaining to:

  • infidelity
  • adultery

and anything pertaining to “cheating,” period.

It saddens my spirit to know that so many people have conveniently ignored being in relationship bondage. Let’s first define what relationship is:

re·la·tion·ship/ri?l?SH?n?SHip/
Noun:  (1) The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected. (2) The state of being connected by blood or marriage.

In my opinion, the word relationship means to “relate”.  In other words in some form or fashion, we relate to one another – good or bad.  What causes us to relate?  Is it a fantasy?  Is it the excitement of that person?  Is it because we are related by blood?  Could it be because we don’t want to be alone?

Whatever the reason, we should seek the truth of the matter.  If there’s one thing I know to be fact, “the truth will set you free.”  Okay?  So now let’s examine the definition of bondage:

bond·age/?bändij/
Noun: (1) The state of being a slave. (2) A state of being greatly constrained by circumstances or obligations.

Who would ever want to be a slave to anything, let alone a relationship?  When we look at the word “bond”, surely we think a bond means to be “close”, to be “connected” – in a positive way right?  Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.

Now let’s take the words relationship and bondage and see how they appear together:

The way in which two or more concepts – greatly constrained by circumstances or obligations.

Therefore if you’re in a relationship and you know you’re being constrained by with constant negative manipulation and or feeling obligated (for whatever reason you’ve justified – whether true or not), it’s a choice.

The bible tells me that:

For the god of this world has blinded the unbelievers’ minds [that they should not discern the truth], preventing them from seeing the illuminating light of the Gospel of the glory of Christ (the Messiah), Who is the Image and Likeness of God.  2 Corinthians 4:4 (Amplified)

The enemy as well as so-called friends will tell you un-truths about how it’s your fault, you’re dumb, or how you should be grateful that you even have a mate, and so on and so forth, that eventually you will begin to believe them!  After a while, you’ll begin to justify (believe) why you accept the situation you’re in.

You should care more about yourself than to accept the things that you know are not well with YOU.  It has absolutely nothing to do with mans approval (mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, best friend, etc.) — it’s your decision to make an informed decision about how you want to be treated in a relationship, whether dating, engaged, married or just friends.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been told or read anywhere were relationships are meant to be negative and greatly constrained.  Think about it, meditate on it and let me know your thoughts.

Next post is Part II of Relationship Bondage

 

Relationship Bondage

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3 thoughts on “Relationship Bondage

  • September 1, 2012 at 6:38 pm
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    Hi, I am in a relationship with my mate, when we met everything was so perfect. now it’s like he don’t want to be in this relationship. I knew when i met him that he was a die hard football player, he is the president of the Quarterback club which take all his time, but i understand that He say he love me and I think he does. He gave me the keys to his house. I really love him because it has been ten years since i hsve been in a relationship, I know God put us together.

    So I don’t want to end the relationship. I just want him to show me some compassion, before he went to the hospital in March 31, we were good together, but after that everything changed with him. But love him in spite of his condition. What do you suggest i do? I know i have to Let Go and Let God work this out for me and him.

    I thank God for this website that i have found and i always said i Will let Go and Let GOd handle all of my problems with this relationship and my mate, Earl Lewis. Thanks so much

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  • January 9, 2013 at 6:58 am
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    Every long term relationships will have their ups and downs but the key to success is Communication (Key)Compromise (Both will have to be equal)Keep it interesting (Keep date nights or together time to keep you two in touch and give your relationship a fresh boost, it is very easy to slip in to mundane especially after kids come along.

    I know late 20 s seem natural to think marriage but if he is only 25, don’t rush into things. Take your time and enjoy your relationship as it is now. Live together for 2 years then see if your still as sure as you are now. I didn’t listen to my parents and I had to learn the hard way the first time round that marriage isn’t always what it is cracked up to be. At least that was my first time round.

    Second one is much happier but still a learning and growing process. My husband and I are both on our second marriages and we both came into our relationship with emotional baggage because both our exes were cheaters. But it gave us valuable insight that it does take two to make a relationship work and we had to learn to communicate.

    We continue to learn and grow but it takes effort, understanding and compromise to make it a happy marriage. We have been through a lot in 13 years but we have learned not to throw in the towel at the drop of a hat and to work things through. We have had to learn to watch what we say because it can’t be taken back. Pick your battles, let him have his buddy nights and you need your own hang time. Good luck

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  • November 8, 2013 at 7:59 pm
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    I was recently left by my sons mother. We were together for almost 3 years, we have a beautiful baby boy. I get home from school one day and she says that she is no longer in love with me, and just leaves. It has been 2 months, she is with someone else and is engaged, already. I have been struggling daily with missing and still loving her, and she seems to be fine and happy. I have tried to give it all to God and for some reason I keep taking it back from him. Well I have had enough, I don’t want it anymore, it is driving me insane. I need God’s help. I thought that this woman was my soul mate, how can she do this if she truly ever loved and cared for me? I don’t understand, please help

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